The weekend ritual
If it wasn't on before, it is now.
The number of new listings practically quadrupled in yesterday's "new releases" email alert we receive. Spring is here, and the action is heating up.
This is how our weekend normally plays out. All week my wife and I compile a list of potential properties we'd like to check out. We split it into two categories: by appointment and open houses. On Saturday while sipping our morning coffee, we print the list of addresses for all the open houses we want to see during the weekend: east end on Saturday, west end on Sunday. (The appointments we make for the weekday evenings after work.)
It's chaos. On average, there are five other couples/families looking at a house when we walk in the door. The most I've ever seen at an open house at the same time was about 26 people, not including the agents. The shoes in the entrance were piled high. Often, you encounter the same people house after house because everyone has the same strategy: check out the showings within a five-block radius.
The open house etiquette requires that you make as little verbal contact with the competition as possible, usually relegated to idle chit chat. Everyone views everyone else as competition. It's like we're competing tribes covering the same hunting ground for game. Smiles are okay. Some forced politeness is expected—if you meet another house hunter on the stairwell, for instance, it's perfectly acceptable to make way and let them pass. But what you're really thinking is 'If I run them down right here and they're only slightly injured, but enough to take them our of the hunt for a couple of weeks, could I be criminally charged?' It's like we're all competing on the Amazing House Race.
One weekend, one family was walking through a house, their 11-year-old daughter asked: 'How much does this once cost?' The mother replied, 'Lots.' I piped in: 'It's not as expensive as Avril's [Lavigne]." (The pop tart lives a few blocks away from where my wife and I currently reside, only in the expensive portion of the neighbourhood.) I saw them again, two streets over, entering the next house as my brother-in-law and I were leaving. I said, 'Hey, I know you.' To which they chuckled. 'We should start a club,' I added. 'We'll split the territory in half, then get together for coffee afterward to discuss.' 'Good idea,' the husband said jokingly. But he was really thinking: 'I must find a house for my brood and I am going to destroy you if you get in my way.'
It's also crucial in the hunt to size up your competition at the open house. When giving the other couples a once over, try not to be too obvious. Are they talking to the agent? Are they asking many questions? How much time did they spend in the house (an indication of whether they like it or not)? Do they look like they might have more money that my wife and I? Are there children in tow? Is the couple pregnant? How desperate are they?
It's the pregnant couples you have to watch out for, They comb the house like a pair of bomb-sniffing dogs. And they're the most hungry for a house due to the impending arrival. The entertaining ones are the newbies—those couples who bring a checklist. I don't know whether they get it from a book, magazine or the Internet. I know some of the so-called experts say you should have a list, but c'mon, all you need to know is how many bedrooms, whether you need/want a separate TV room, parking: yes/no, how are the electrical and plumbing, does the roof appear to be in good shape? That's about it. Besides, the listing covers pretty much everything. If you're serious about a house, go back and measure the rooms, and contact an inspector to take a closer look, etc. I once saw a woman carrying around a clipboard and counting the number of electrical outlets in the rooms. Honey, I thought, you better start to slim down your expectations because it's either going to take you forever to find a house or you're going to pay through the nose to meet all your requirements.
Well, it's noon. The open houses start in two hours, and I have yet to strap myself into my armour.
The number of new listings practically quadrupled in yesterday's "new releases" email alert we receive. Spring is here, and the action is heating up.
This is how our weekend normally plays out. All week my wife and I compile a list of potential properties we'd like to check out. We split it into two categories: by appointment and open houses. On Saturday while sipping our morning coffee, we print the list of addresses for all the open houses we want to see during the weekend: east end on Saturday, west end on Sunday. (The appointments we make for the weekday evenings after work.)
It's chaos. On average, there are five other couples/families looking at a house when we walk in the door. The most I've ever seen at an open house at the same time was about 26 people, not including the agents. The shoes in the entrance were piled high. Often, you encounter the same people house after house because everyone has the same strategy: check out the showings within a five-block radius.
The open house etiquette requires that you make as little verbal contact with the competition as possible, usually relegated to idle chit chat. Everyone views everyone else as competition. It's like we're competing tribes covering the same hunting ground for game. Smiles are okay. Some forced politeness is expected—if you meet another house hunter on the stairwell, for instance, it's perfectly acceptable to make way and let them pass. But what you're really thinking is 'If I run them down right here and they're only slightly injured, but enough to take them our of the hunt for a couple of weeks, could I be criminally charged?' It's like we're all competing on the Amazing House Race.
One weekend, one family was walking through a house, their 11-year-old daughter asked: 'How much does this once cost?' The mother replied, 'Lots.' I piped in: 'It's not as expensive as Avril's [Lavigne]." (The pop tart lives a few blocks away from where my wife and I currently reside, only in the expensive portion of the neighbourhood.) I saw them again, two streets over, entering the next house as my brother-in-law and I were leaving. I said, 'Hey, I know you.' To which they chuckled. 'We should start a club,' I added. 'We'll split the territory in half, then get together for coffee afterward to discuss.' 'Good idea,' the husband said jokingly. But he was really thinking: 'I must find a house for my brood and I am going to destroy you if you get in my way.'
It's also crucial in the hunt to size up your competition at the open house. When giving the other couples a once over, try not to be too obvious. Are they talking to the agent? Are they asking many questions? How much time did they spend in the house (an indication of whether they like it or not)? Do they look like they might have more money that my wife and I? Are there children in tow? Is the couple pregnant? How desperate are they?
It's the pregnant couples you have to watch out for, They comb the house like a pair of bomb-sniffing dogs. And they're the most hungry for a house due to the impending arrival. The entertaining ones are the newbies—those couples who bring a checklist. I don't know whether they get it from a book, magazine or the Internet. I know some of the so-called experts say you should have a list, but c'mon, all you need to know is how many bedrooms, whether you need/want a separate TV room, parking: yes/no, how are the electrical and plumbing, does the roof appear to be in good shape? That's about it. Besides, the listing covers pretty much everything. If you're serious about a house, go back and measure the rooms, and contact an inspector to take a closer look, etc. I once saw a woman carrying around a clipboard and counting the number of electrical outlets in the rooms. Honey, I thought, you better start to slim down your expectations because it's either going to take you forever to find a house or you're going to pay through the nose to meet all your requirements.
Well, it's noon. The open houses start in two hours, and I have yet to strap myself into my armour.
posted by Renovator-in-training at 11:58 AM
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